Oral Sex Tips
Is performing/receiving head risky?
One of the reasons we started doing our workshop (and writing this column) is
that a lot of women think that having sex with other women is a risk free
venture, and it most definitely is not! We always say, anything you can get from
a boy, you can get from a girl -- that's a cheerful little saying isn't it?
So, we always recommend that you practice safer sex so you can stay happy and
healthy into your wee old age (check out the Centers for Disease Control's (CDC)
website for the official scoop on this kind of stuff: www. cdc.gov).
Practicing
safe oral sex can mean a couple of things. It can mean only performing oral sex
with a long term partner who has been tested for STD's and who is definitely
not cheating on you, or it can mean using a barrier method for those times when
you just can't wait six months to get it on.
You can use a dental dam (a
little square of latex designed and sold expressly for the purpose of safer oral
sex) or you can use plain old Saran Wrap. Frankly, we pick saran wrap instead of
a dental dam because we're cheap, clumsy, and fashion conscious. A dental dan
costs over $1.50 per dam (damn!), and you could probably get a whole roll of
Saran Wrap for that price. Dental dams are small, but with saran wrap you can
tear off a larger piece, which can be easier to hold, and if you are fumbling a
little at first or get all tangled up, hey - you can always throw it away and
tear off a new piece. Also, saran wrap comes in fancy colors like blue and
pink, and you can wrap it around your body and make all kinds of fancy outfits.
[By the way, we're not after corporate sponsorship. We use the brand name
Saran Wrap because it is the only plastic wrap approved by the FDA for use in
oral sex.] But if plastic wrap isn't your thing (it does get sweaty) you can
use dental dams or cut up a condom or glove to make a barrier. Putting a little
bit of lube (water based) in between the dam and her vulva will make it slide
around a little (hold on tight!) but it will increase the overall sensation for
her and will make it a little easier for you to navigate your tongue as well.
And, you know, we do recognize that most of the turn-on about oral sex is the
taste, smell, and feel of having your face in a woman's hot vulva while
she's writhing against you and wow! When you feel her come while you are
going down on her- hoo wee!!! Fantastic!! However, safety first! Please take
some time to thoroughly educate yourself through reputable sources about the
risk of transmitted diseases/infections and oral sex before bare backing, and in
the meantime, if you're missing the taste and smell, you can always try
putting some of your own juice of your side of the dam. [That said, did you
know that oral sex is actually more hygienic than kissing?]
I've never done it - how do I get started?
If you haven't done so already, go back and read our article Anatomy is
Fun! Really!" One of our favorite books on sex is the Guide to Getting it
On! They suggest starting with none other than yourself by licking the palm of
your hand. Learn the difference between a softer, more rounded tongue, and a
harder, more pointed tongue. This book has a whole chapter on oral sex tips
that are just fabulous. We'll share with you our knowledge, but feel free to
consult the many wonderful books out there. And well, you know what they say
- practice makes perfect!
Um, how do women taste?
Well, how do you taste? Seriously, taste yourself. You're delicious! But ya
know what? Your lover may taste completely different. Especially if she takes
vitamins, is a smoker, is a vegetarian, she's just showered, etc. While
we're big fans of cleanliness, it is important to know that just showered does
not = tastes better. Coya knew this really bizarre guy in college who used to
run through the dorms chanting "If it smells like fish, it's a dish. If it
smells like soap, say nope." He was strange but it turns out he wasn't that
far off. Most soaps have a pH that is higher than preferable for the vulva and
may actually make her more unbalanced and likely to develop vaginal infections,
which aren't especially tasty. A lot of health practitioners recommend using
just water to wash your vulva - it works just fine. In the long run, taste is
all a matter of preference. What may taste great to you, may not taste good to
her. Unfortunately there's no consensus on this issue.
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