Anal sex:
When you are ready to start experimenting with penetration, take it slowly!!!! Nothing hurts more than shoving something up your butt with no prep time at all! Communicate with your partner. Make sure its something both of you feel comfortable doing and are willing to talk about - anal sex involves a lot of checking in, not only
physically, but emotionally. If you are too worried that you're going to gross your partner out if a little bit of poop comes out on their gloves or if you fart, you're not going to enjoy yourself. You have to trust that your partner would not be fucking you up the ass if she didn't love it herself. Believe us - anal penetration is just like oral sex, women who
perform it love it as much, if not more, than the women receiving do!
One of the myths about anal penetration is that the more you do it, the more you risk becoming incontinent and doomed to a lifetime of poorly timed poop! This is simply not true if done properly (i.e. lube and working up to it). The sphincter muscles are just like any other muscles: the more you exercise them, the stronger they become. So, actually, just as more vaginal orgasms strengthen your vagina (and your orgasms), your anus will become HEALTHIER with proper play. Whoo hoo! Good news!
To work up to anal penetration, start with a finger. Remember to use a glove or finger cots for STD safety. Make sure your nails are trimmed and your hands are smooth - you don't want no sandpaper paws up your butt! Use your finger to rim the outside of the anus. Once you see the anus start to "wink" at you as it becomes more relaxed, then
slowly try penetration with your finger. There's no rush! Take it as slowly as feels comfortable. When you feel good about a finger, try two! Or three! You can also move on to butt plugs- they are kind of like dildos especially designed for the shape of the rectum. Butt plugs come in lots of colors and sizes (some even vibrate!), and are great because they can leave your hands free to explore other territories. You can also use dildos in your ass too, starting small and working up. For goodness sake, BE PATIENT. It may take months of practice before you are ready to take the plunge with a strap-on dildo. But, given time and patience, you can work up to the dildo of your choice or to fisting and, if done properly, not cause any damage to your anus. Quite the contrary, your anus may even love you for it!
Did we say fisting?! Aw yeah! Anal fisting and vaginal fisting are very real possibilities. Your body has the amazing capability to expand when aroused. We promise to do a whole column on this sometime soon, but in the meantime we recommend using a glove (and lots of lube, of course). Gradually add more and more fingers until your partner is able to take all of your fingers. Make your hand into the shape of a duckbill. Ease your fingers into your partner, then make the fist once your hand is all the way inside.
Anal beads are also tons of fun. Anal beads are little balls of the same or
increasing size separated by an inch or so of string. We suggest getting silicone coated anal beads as they don't trap bacteria as easily as the kind with uncoated strings. If you do have nylon string beads, you can cover the whole thing with a condom and knot it near the O-ring that stays outside of your body. Anal beads are inserted one at a time and then can be left inside of you to just hang out. Remove them slowly as you are having an orgasm or right afterwards to increase the intensity of the orgasm.
Although we've referred to "rimming" as something you do with your finger,
"rimming" (analingus) can also be done with your tongue. A dental dam works
just as well with rimming as with any other kind of oral sex, but can be a bit trickier given the narrower, tighter space you may have between her ass cheeks. You can make a very handy dental dam by cutting the fingers off a latex glove, and cutting a slit down the side of the glove to open it, but leaving the thumb as a little tongue condom! Cutting open the side of a condom can also work really well (see our oral sex column for more information on dental dams). The tip of the condom holds your tongue nicely. Make sure you use non-lubricated condoms as many lubricated condoms have really yucky tasting spermicide inside of them. Blah!
Here's our safer sex pitch! Please please please keep in mind that you can get any STD in or around your ass as you can in your vulva. In fact, because your anus is less elastic than your vagina, you may be more likely to get tiny rips or tears during anal sex (which can make you more succeptile to viruses like HIV or Herpes). Oral rimming can also put you at risk for Hepatitis A. Luckily, you can now get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B - an important suggestion for anyone concerned about their health (sexually active or not), because Hepatitis is definitely on the rise. If you do not use a barrier for analingus, make sure you use mouthwash before performing cunnilingus, in order to prevent the spread of bacteria to the vagina.
Your ass is a whole uncharted territory - be brave and explore! You'll
find a treasure of pleasure waiting for you!
e-mail us at: vulvalove@iheartmyclit.com
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