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I'm told that, for a lesbian, I'm a dirty old man. This explains why I
notice cute feminine girls so openly that if I remember to, I turn around to
check out her rear end..particularly if she's wearing a skirt. It's a great
talent, because if they're straight, she won't notice; if she's queer and
interested, I get the conspirator's grin of: I'm gay, too! Look all you
want, I'll make more! Because I love to find undercover femmes in downtown
Chicago. It's like we each have a secret identity: I pass as someone's
corporate-casual little brother, so no one realizes we're queer. Not unless
we make them.
There are times when I pray she's queer. I met one redhead who wore a pale
green skirt, platform sandals and matching iridescent green toenail
polish...and even a spiral toe ring. I felt like such a dirty foot fetishist
ogling her toes. I wanted to get on my knees and crawl to her to kiss them,
if only she would command it. But she didn't look up even once; she was
impassive, and I was invisible.
I tell myself that that compared to some straight guys, it probably isn't
that noticeable when I'm checking girls out. I know I get this look of
pathetic hunger on my face. As in, please let's go to a dark alley and make
out. Please let me take you to the freight elevator at work and do some
heavy petting against the back wall. It's a huge blue mattress, you'll like
it, I promise.
I'll tell you my number one dream for the femmes I discover. It involves the
She's got to wear knee-length boots combined with a short skirt and
cleavage-baring top. You know that style, it's been recycled since the early
90's. This is because the combination of bare thighs and cleavage sends
everyone into a cold sweat. And the boots tend to look suspiciously like
riding boots. You know what I want to do: polish and lick them. Lick my way
up her leather-encased calves. Peel off the boots and get to work on her
toes, which naturally leads to licking my way up past those bare thighs,
lifting up her skirt and reverently devouring her pussy.
When I'm going down on this girl, I feel like someone's teenage boyfriend:
awkward and goofy, with a constant hard-on that makes me eager and yearning,
like a puppy. Suddenly my shoulders feel broadened, and I'm so shy and
excited to be doing this messy, adoring, delicious act, even though, I
imagine, I don't know what I'm doing, but I am so into this girl I just have
to figure it out.Because getting to touch more and more is a
previously-witheld privilege...and with some firm-but-patient guidance, I'll
find the best spots and burrow my way into an orgasm or two.
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